BETARAT.net

One of the hardest parts of transition has not simply been changing how I look but changing how I see myself. Dysphoria has a way of turning the mirror into a microscope. Features that another person might barely notice can become enormous in my own mind. A shadow on my face. The shape of my jaw. My body. My hair. My voice. The way clothing fits. Tiny details can suddenly feel like evidence that I am somehow falling short. And then society adds another layer. Women are alread

(Initially I posted a video shortly after this incident, and I don’t think I was in the best frame of mind to really communicate about what had then just transpired.) I walked into a convenience store like anyone else. I was visibly tattooed, and someone struck up a conversation with me about them. It seemed friendly. Normal. Just two people talking for a moment about something that caught their attention. A few minutes later, that same person threw stale, cold coffee on me i

Outer strength is easy to see. It’s confidence. Presence. The way someone carries themselves. The ability to stand tall, speak clearly, push forward, and look like they have everything under control. Inner strength is different. It’s what happens when nobody is watching. It’s getting out of bed when your mind is exhausted. It’s choosing patience when anger would be easier. It’s holding onto your identity when other people question it. It’s allowing yourself to be vulnerable w

Respect is not obligation. And my existence is not a negotiation. I don’t expect everyone to understand my transgender experience. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. I don’t even expect everyone to be comfortable with me. But I do expect basic human respect. You don’t have to believe exactly what I believe about gender to call me by my name. You don’t have to share my worldview to use my pronouns. And you certainly don’t have to understand my journey to recognize that

This is my open response to a comment made by a stranger on a previous post: I understand that some people have strong opinions about transgender people and women’s rights. You are entitled to those opinions, but you are not entitled to redefine my life for me or demand that I disappear from conversations simply because you disagree with who I am. I’m not “pretending,” and I’m not asking you to participate in my life. I am living honestly as myself and speaking publicly about

You can live an ethical, compassionate, and fulfilling life without belonging to a religion. Likewise, many people find that religion enriches their lives through faith, community, and tradition. Both paths can lead people to values such as kindness, honesty, generosity, and love. But it’s also okay to be uncertain. Many people spend years asking questions as to the existence of gods, what happens after death, the meaning of life, etc. Not having definitive answers doesn’t me

When someone you care about is transitioning, silence can create far more distance than an honest conversation ever could. You don’t have to have all the right words or understand everything immediately. Asking with kindness, listening with an open heart, and choosing curiosity over silence can preserve a friendship. Understanding begins with conversation, but distance often begins when we stop having one.

(This is a re-post from my Facebook account on 4/4/2026) It has come to my attention that many people could benefit from some clarity regarding the situation at hand. Here’s the gist of it. After years of living in the closet and privately grappling with these issues (which I handled poorly with the help of alcohol), I have decided to come out publicly as transgender. This means that my outward appearance and gender identity may differ from what you all have been accustomed t

It’s kind of strange looking at this site now. 9 years ago I launched BetaRat.net as a means to promote my musical ventures (many of which continue to exist in one way or another), but life certainly has a way of changing our direction. Maybe a brief re-cap is in store for those who would care to listen. Right around the time of the first Beta Rat release, the indie-rock band I was a member of (the Paper Jets) slowly slipped into hiatus. Our album was released, and we playe